Tuesday, January 7, 2014

2014: Being Positive & Knowing My Best Is Good Enough

If you know me at all, you know I don't make "New Year's Resolutions" well.

I used to, back in the day, make resolutions to be thinner, smarter, a better friend, happier, etc.

But as of late, I have resigned to: I'm going to keep on keeping on with the good I've got happening right now, because it's pretty great.

Don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place for goals.

It's good to be goal-oriented.

But I've found I cannot be that way with these types of "long-term life changes," if you will.

Because I have no road map for how I plan to arrive at the destination of being "smarter" or "happier" for instance.

Nor do I really truly know what the heck those things even look like anyway (even though I would like to think I do.)

And that right there my friends, is a recipe for disaster.

And by disaster I mean feelings of failure.

There is no doubt I want to be a healthier, happier version of myself in 2014. (I wanted this in 2013, 2012, 2011...you get the point.)

And as I look back on 2013, I think I did become a healthier and happier version of myself.

But then I saw this video on a blog the other day.

And all those warm and fuzzy feelings went away.

Because I'm guilty.

I can't even tell you how many times I have thought this way.

And trust me when I say I've come a LONG way in this arena of my life.

Ask any one of my friends; they will tell you I can brag and boast about myself with the best of them.

I do think I'm pretty great (and I'm not the least bit obnoxious about it!!! ;))


But wow, guys.

I still do this.

Far more than I would like to admit.

I not only occasionally (ok, maybe more than occasionally) talk this way with the people I surround myself with, but I think it in my own head, too.

And it's not just about the way I look.

This carries over to my professional life too.

I don't get that big loan I have been working on for over two years?

Negative thoughts, self-bashing, and the "it's my fault's" ensue.

I took a strengths finder test when I first started working right out of college.

You answer a series of questions, and at the end of the test they tell you what your top five strengths are.

And guess which "strength" made my top five?


Yes, I'm generally a happy-go-lucky person.

Yes, I like to think the glass is half-full (life is just better that way, isn't it?)

Yes, I try to bounce back from setbacks well and find a positive spin for bad situations.

But, why is it so hard for me to be positive and realize in these moments of "self failure" if you will, that my best was good enough?

So I didn't "eat perfect" today because I had a lunch meeting with a customer in a small town bar where the only thing on the menu was grease and more grease covered with cheese.

Instead of beating myself up and obsessing about the calorie dense lunch I just ate, I need to remember: I did the best I could with what I had, and that is good enough.

I got told the ugly words of, "I'm going with your competitor" on a big loan I had worked my tail off for because the bank was cheaper than me.

Instead of thinking that I must be in the wrong career because I'm obviously not doing something right, I need to remember: I gave it my best shot, and my best was good enough.

We are seven days into a fresh, new, exciting year.

I'm pretty pumped about what this year has in store.

2014 just feels like its laced in glitter, it feels fancy.

And we all know how I feel about glitter and fancy things!

Even with the excitement around this new year, I'm still not going to make a "resolution."

Rather, I'm making a promise to myself, and to all of the people I care about. 

I promise I won't talk about myself negatively anymore when I feel like I've failed or I'm in a slump.

And with that promise, I promise I'm not going to let you or your sister or your mister or his cat think or talk negatively either.

Yep, you guessed it, I will shhhush you, or your sister, or your....ok you get the point. :)

Now lets be honest.

I'm not totally unrealistic.

No one can be positive all the time, so I will not make that promise.

But I will give it my best, and I hope you will too.

Because in 2014, my best is good enough, and so is yours.

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