NYNM: Week 19//Twenty Seven.

Twenty six was really great.

Like reallllllllly great.

I made new friends.

I tried new things, even some scary things!

I traveled.

I reached goals.

I went from a brunette, to a spicy ginger, to a darker brunette, to even spicier ginger, to a ....I have no idea what this color is on my head... (my mother is really proud of this adventurous side of me, by the way.)

I laughed.

Boy, did I laugh.

And I had oh-so-much fun.

Yesterday I closed out my twenty sixth year by stepping on the scale and seeing that I made my goal of losing 35 pounds by my birthday.

I screamed.

At 5 a.m.

In all my glory.

Then I went to see Farmland with my friend Ryan last night.

I laughed.

I cried.

And I fell in love with Agriculture all over again.

And then I ate dessert.

Because that is just what you do when you are about to turn a year older.

And you don't feel bad about it for a minute.

Twenty six was full of love, laughter, family, good friends, joy, sweat, tears and smiles, to name a few.

I am blessed far more than I deserve.

So today, I welcome twenty seven.

If the first 10 hours of it were any indication of how this year will go, it has awesome written all over it.

And that, my friends, is something I can get behind.

2014: Being Positive & Knowing My Best Is Good Enough

If you know me at all, you know I don't make "New Year's Resolutions" well.

I used to, back in the day, make resolutions to be thinner, smarter, a better friend, happier, etc.

But as of late, I have resigned to: I'm going to keep on keeping on with the good I've got happening right now, because it's pretty great.

Don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place for goals.

It's good to be goal-oriented.

But I've found I cannot be that way with these types of "long-term life changes," if you will.

Because I have no road map for how I plan to arrive at the destination of being "smarter" or "happier" for instance.

Nor do I really truly know what the heck those things even look like anyway (even though I would like to think I do.)

And that right there my friends, is a recipe for disaster.

And by disaster I mean feelings of failure.

There is no doubt I want to be a healthier, happier version of myself in 2014. (I wanted this in 2013, 2012, 2011...you get the point.)

And as I look back on 2013, I think I did become a healthier and happier version of myself.

But then I saw this video on a blog the other day.



And all those warm and fuzzy feelings went away.

Because I'm guilty.

I can't even tell you how many times I have thought this way.

And trust me when I say I've come a LONG way in this arena of my life.

Ask any one of my friends; they will tell you I can brag and boast about myself with the best of them.

I do think I'm pretty great (and I'm not the least bit obnoxious about it!!! ;))

Promise.

But wow, guys.

I still do this.

Far more than I would like to admit.

I not only occasionally (ok, maybe more than occasionally) talk this way with the people I surround myself with, but I think it in my own head, too.

And it's not just about the way I look.

This carries over to my professional life too.

I don't get that big loan I have been working on for over two years?

Negative thoughts, self-bashing, and the "it's my fault's" ensue.

I took a strengths finder test when I first started working right out of college.

You answer a series of questions, and at the end of the test they tell you what your top five strengths are.

And guess which "strength" made my top five?

Positivity.

Yes, I'm generally a happy-go-lucky person.

Yes, I like to think the glass is half-full (life is just better that way, isn't it?)

Yes, I try to bounce back from setbacks well and find a positive spin for bad situations.

But, why is it so hard for me to be positive and realize in these moments of "self failure" if you will, that my best was good enough?

So I didn't "eat perfect" today because I had a lunch meeting with a customer in a small town bar where the only thing on the menu was grease and more grease covered with cheese.

Instead of beating myself up and obsessing about the calorie dense lunch I just ate, I need to remember: I did the best I could with what I had, and that is good enough.

I got told the ugly words of, "I'm going with your competitor" on a big loan I had worked my tail off for because the bank was cheaper than me.

Instead of thinking that I must be in the wrong career because I'm obviously not doing something right, I need to remember: I gave it my best shot, and my best was good enough.

We are seven days into a fresh, new, exciting year.

I'm pretty pumped about what this year has in store.

2014 just feels like its laced in glitter, it feels fancy.

And we all know how I feel about glitter and fancy things!

Even with the excitement around this new year, I'm still not going to make a "resolution."

Rather, I'm making a promise to myself, and to all of the people I care about. 

I promise I won't talk about myself negatively anymore when I feel like I've failed or I'm in a slump.

And with that promise, I promise I'm not going to let you or your sister or your mister or his cat think or talk negatively either.

Yep, you guessed it, I will shhhush you, or your sister, or your....ok you get the point. :)

Now lets be honest.

I'm not totally unrealistic.

No one can be positive all the time, so I will not make that promise.

But I will give it my best, and I hope you will too.

Because in 2014, my best is good enough, and so is yours.

Christmas Balance

It's Friday afternoon, 3 p.m.

I find myself sitting in my office, taking the deepest of breaths, as I may (knock on wood) be caught up with my customers' demands for the week.

It's been one of those weeks where the feelings of disappointment, exhaustion and downright defeat seem to be overtaking my mood on this chilly Friday afternoon.

'Tis the life of a woman in sales, I suppose.

Not sure why, but I glance at my calendar (as I've done a million times in the past couple of days) and for some reason panic overtakes me; today is December 13th. 

There are only 12 days until Christmas.

I have yet to put up my adorable little Christmas Tree at my adorable little house.

Nor have I put up any sort of Christmas glitter, tinsel or lights.

I have yet to listen to my favorite Christmas CD of all time (Michael Buble Christmas, for you curious minds) on repeat, singing at the top of my lungs.

I also have yet to bake anything.

Christmas is happening right now, and I am failing to participate in the party.

I am missing the best season of all seasons because I am running around in a daze trying to 'get it all done' and 'show up where I need to show up.'

What the heck happened to my balance?

When did I become a person who even got stressed out?

Where did my free spirit go?

How did I become such a Scrooge?

After my three minute straight up panic attack, reality starts to set in.

I'm probably not going to put up my adorable little Christmas Tree in my adorable little house this year.

I'm also probably not going to drag any Chrismas glitter, tinsel or lights out of my closet to decorate with either.

I might bake, but then I'll end up eating it. So, I probably won't do much baking, if any.

Because it all just sounds so exhausting.

And if I don't 'do it all' this year it will be OK.

This Christmas, I want to focus a little more on the real reason for the season: the birth of our Savior, and a little less on the 'hussle and bussle' that seems to come with it.

Maybe without all noise of the 'Christmas clutter' surrounding me this year, I can relish in the pure awesomeness of my family a little more, and worry about my cookies being stale a little less.

I hope you find your balance this Christmas, friends, and remember the real reason for this blessed season!

The County Fair Marathon...

....is over!

WHEWWWW!!!!!

3 fairs. 10 days.

See why I said marathon?

Mission 1: Pull off all my events I was in charge of without a glitch.

Mission 2: Have fun.

Mission 3: Survive.

I can say that all three missions were successfully executed! Although mission 3 was a little touch and go on Friday night. I ended up with face wash on my toothbrush (signs you know you're sleep deprived!!) and I may or may not have thought I was going to die after brushing my teeth for a good 5 seconds with face wash. But I recovered in time to make it through the final event on Sunday. Then, I even had enough energy afterwards to pull weeds, mow the lawn, trim bushes AND make brownies!

I am woman...hear me roar! :)

Two of the fairs I attended were for work purposes. Since I loan money to farmers and farmers kids usually make up the majority of the county fair participants, I see a lot of customers in one place and it's quite fantastic. I also find that one of the best things I can do to be successful at my job is be involved in the community, and county fair is just one of those places I can volunteer my time. This is a major bonus about my job because I LOVE being involved in the community! Win win!

One of the three fairs, however, holds a special place in my heart. I don't get to volunteer at this point due to me living so far away. Hopefully that will change someday! But, I get to go back every year to eat some great food, hang out with and cheer for my family who still participates in the fair today, and to catch up with old friends and reminisce about the days when we were 4-H'ers.

I don't know what it was about the Cass County Fair this year, but I got a little sentimental when I came home from the first day of being back at those fairgrounds. It may have been that my old 4-H crush brought up the fact that he beat me in Beef Showmanship our last year of showing (a prize that is one to brag about for you non 4-H'ers) and I didn't believe him so I got out my old record books and took a trip down memory lane.

There are a lot of memories in these old books, and I want to tell you about a few of them. But the first thing you should know before I even start taking this trip down memory lane is that County Fair week was the best week of the entire year. Yes, it was better than Christmas. It was better than birthdays. It was even better than vacation. It was THE best week EVER!!! I never wanted it to end. I cried every year, even when I got older. And I didn't even care if it made me look like a baby.

 

 

Showing cattle was a big part of my life. I loved these calves. I spent hours every day in the barn with them in the summers. I even fell asleep on top of them once or twice in the barn. They were my pets. And they were awesome. There was just something about leading a calf around the show ring, getting that purple ribbon and knowing that all your hard work payed off that was so rewarding and satisfying all at the same time.

 

 

 

 

 

I know it sounds silly to those of you who never showed livestock, but they molded me into the person I am today. They taught me responsibility, hard work, perseverance, and the value of a dollar. And learning those things, amongst others, starting at the young age of 9 is something I will never regret. I can't thank my parents enough for letting me experience it.

 

 

Then there were pigs... At Euken Farms Inc. we have livestock facilities for cattle. And cattle only. But boy did I want to show pigs at the County Fair! Not only did my family and friends show pigs and it looked like a blast, but I knew how much money I could make on top of having a great time. (No, I'm not greedy, I had college to pay for!) However, my parents were very against me showing pigs. I don't know if you know this, but I'm not one to give up without a fight. So, I called my uncle, who raised pigs at the time and asked if I could keep my show pigs at his place and in exchange I would help bed pigs whenever he needed help. And just like that, I became a pig showman. And a good one, too! :) Showing pigs, just like cattle taught me valuable life skills. So thankful for my Uncle Craig making it possible for me to learn and grow through showing pigs!

There was lots of other fun stuff I participated in at the county fair. I took sewing projects, food projects, home decorating projects, refinishing projects, the list goes on and on. Long story short, there was no such thing as Pinterest back in the day so I was able to use my imagination to come up with some pretty great projects to bring each year to the fair. With each of these projects as well as the queen contest you sit with a judge who evaluates your exhibit. You go through an interview with the judge telling them about your project, explaining your goals, what you've learned, etc. At the age of 9 I was learning how to look people in the eye, go though and interview and "sell" if you will a judge on why my project is the best and deserving of a coveted purple ribbon. I know I would not be an open, bubbly, talk to anyone saleswoman today if I would have not had these experiences growing up.

And then there was my family. I'm super lucky in that in my family we are best friends too. One of the greatest things about the fair was getting to run around with my best friends all week. Our parents never seemed to know where we were, unless it was time to eat or we needed money, because we were usually lost in a cattle barn dropping a plastic spider on some city kid and watching them scream. (And no, it never got old!!) We supported each other, cheered each other on, and made so many memories. Ones that I will carry with me forever.

Now that I've outgrown the 4-H days, I get to go back to the great Cass County Fair with the same family members, but this time I get to cheer on the younger generation. I get to watch them run around making their memories and it warms my heart.

But don't worry, I'm still making memories too. Just in a different way this time...

I'm so thankful for these County Fair memories and experiences. I'm thankful for 4-H molding me into who I am today. I'm thankful for my family and the great friends I met along the "4-H journey." But most of all, reflecting on this part of my life makes me so excited to be a 4-H Mom someday, and watch my kids grow, learn and make memories through similar experiences.

Morning Run And Gratefulness

There is nothing like a morning run.

The views.

The brisk summer air.

The "good mornings" to the folks you pass on the sidewalk.

The feeling of your feet hitting the ground one after the other after the other.

The feeling of your muscles getting tighter and more toned with each and every step.

The satisfaction of knowing you just ran your personal best mile splits of the summer.

The soreness in your muscles afterwards, solidifying you gave it your all.

But my favorite part of a morning run?

Thinking.

Morning runs are my time to think, uninterrupted.

Not about work.

Not about what I have to do today, or what I should have accomplished yesterday.

But to just be....be grateful.

This morning I could feel myself running the fastest I've ran this summer.

I didn't need my iPhone to tell me, I could just feel it.

It got me thinking back to childhood, when the thought of going on a run made me cringe.

I fast forwarded to high school when I decided to go out for cross country, which got me thinking about the Jacobs' family. They worked with me every day in the summer to get me ready for cross country season year after year. They ultimately taught me to love running and were able to bring out the inner athlete inside of me.

I thought about the fact that I would not be here, in this moment, running this 5 mile run if it wasn't for Steve. And Marilyn. And Whitney. And Cortney. And Stephanie. And Justin. And how I am so grateful for them that I am here, running the fastest I've been able to run this summer, all because they invested their time in me.

I am so grateful for them!

I thought about writing them a thank you, but then I thought, how do I write my gratitude in a 4x5 inch thank you card? Where would I even begin? 

I thought about knee surgery.

Three weeks from today I will have my knee cut into. My bones will be broken and moved. Screws will be placed around my knee. And I won't be able to do this activity I've grown to love. I will have to say 'see you soon' to running and working out as I've known it the last however many years.

While that thought seems awful, I have to think of it as bittersweet. Because, in the end, I'm finally going to have a knee that loves these grueling workouts I put it through, and I won't be on a steady diet of ice and aleve.

I thought about recovery. How I'm as fit as I probably have ever been right now, and I will completely rock this recovery because of that! That in six months from now, I will be back out here, doing this thing I love so much again. I may not be as fast as I want to be or as strong as I want to be, but I will not stop until I get there.

Because running and working out makes me happy.

So I will choose to be grateful for an uncle who will make my knee new again which will allow me to continue to run and workout for years to come so the pure joy I feel in this moment doesn't have to end.

I thought about nutrition. How it has been such a struggle for me over my 26 years of life.

I thought about how this run I'm on feels so good because I'm being kind to my body with how I'm fueling it now. I wish I could go back and shake myself for thinking I could eat whatever I wanted because I worked out hard, everyday.

How I wish I could be an ambassador to anyone struggling with their weight letting them know, "You CANNOT out work a poor diet!" because I thought that way for so long.

I thought about Kim. She has taken hours out of her busy life to teach me what to eat, how much, when to eat it and why so that I could be successful. What a gift! I am forever grateful for you, Kim!

I thought these struggles and successes I've gone through on my weight loss journey.

They have molded me into the woman I am today; a woman I am proud to be.

They have taught me hard work and dedication DO get you somewhere, if you just get up and show up every morning, trying to be better.

They have taught me that I can do anything I set my mind to.

But most importantly, they have made me grateful.

Grateful for the journey.

Grateful for people.

Grateful for surgeries.

And most of all, grateful for all the blessings in my life. Big or small.

Extra Thoughts Count

We have a new employee at work.

She's young, and fun (average age in my office is probably 45) and working in a small office (about 15 people) it takes a while to find your place and figure out everyones quirks.

Last night we were at the office until about 7:30 together.

I worked, she talked. I talked, she worked.

It was great.

She's a really great girl, and we are starting to become good friends.

I came to work the next morning to find a note from her saying how much she appreciated our after-hours bonding time and how she is so glad she gets to work with me.

That was awesome.

First of all, it made my day. I seriously couldn't stop smiling.

Second of all, it made me feel appreciated and like I made a difference.

It was an awesome reminder of how much impact a simple note with as little as three sentences made me feel.

It's funny because I was thinking some of the same things about her that she wrote in that note about me, but I never took the extra time to express that to her in a way she could really feel it.

All of this got me to thinking. It's so easy for me to get wrapped up in little stuff that doesn't really matter and forget to go the extra mile to make the people who matter in my life feel appreciated, loved, accepted, and cared about.

 



People will never forget how you made them feel. So make the ones around you feel awesome. And I bet as a result, you are going to feel even more awesome for doing so.

Being Single: Tis the Season of Winter

As of late, there have been quite a few people in my life that have tried to set me up with someone, encouraged me to start online dating, or just thought it was high time I not be single anymore. 

They really are all so sweet. They have the best of intentions and just want to see me end up with a great guy, and ultimately see me happy.

But the thing is, I'm as happy today as I have been in a long time!

Yeah, it would be fun to find a really great guy to share my life with, and someday I hope I do! But, even though it took me a while to appreciate being single, I am thoroughly enjoying it at this point in my life.

I had a pretty bad relationship that lasted entirely too long in college. Since being free of that relationship, I'm going to be honest, I'm not all that gung-ho on getting into another one.

So, lately when friends try to set me up with someone, I oblige, because its the polite thing to do. But, to be honest, I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet. I mean, I don't think I am. At least not with the men I've been meeting as of late.

All of this leads me up to today.

I attend a really great church. One that seems to have a message I specifically need to hear every time I go. We are working through a series called "Hitched" right now, and today's message was all about preparing oneself for marriage.

Pastor Jeff spoke about the three different seasons of preparing for marriage, but one really resonated with me today: the season of winter. It could be because he related this to farming, or because it's the season of my life that I am currently in, but he made some great points that really made sense.

Winter is a season of preparation.

In agriculture, the season of winter is a time where farmers prepare and get everything in order they will need come spring when they plant their crops. Winter season is when the soil is dormant, establishing deep roots to grow plants and flowers come spring.

In life, we also have a season of winter, where we can prepare and ready our hearts for a relationship someday.

Listening to Pastor Jeff's message today, I began to realize that maybe I never declared that I wanted to go through a season of winter in regards to dating, but that's pretty much what I've been doing. I also began to realize what a blessing this season of winter has been for me. 

I need a season of winter.

I need to take time to rid myself of the bad habits I formed in my last relationship. 

I need to re-connect with the happy person I was before I entered into the non-encouraging relationship I found myself in. 

I need to spend time figuring out what is important, what my hopes, dreams, and aspirations are. I need time to become confident in them so I can stand firm and not have to compromise them for a relationship.

I need to prepare.

This season of winter is the time in my life where God is readying me for a greater blessing, a great season of harvest someday, if you will.

Now is the time in my life where I can sink roots down deep spiritually and grow in my faith.

Because when it comes down to it, it isn't about finding the right person...it's about becoming the right person.

So I'm going to continue in this season of winter, and not look for spring to come too quickly. I want to make sure that my roots are deeply established so when I become the right person, and God blesses me with a great guy, I am ready. 


 ***If you're interested in hearing more of this message, you can watch it here.***

The Little Things

Today, I am sporting a new, never worn before, outfit.

Which I dug out of my closet this morning.

These articles of clothing have been in there for a long time. Just waiting to be worn.

I've had this sweater since college (unfortunately, that was longer ago than I'd like to admit) and I've had these pants for about 4 months.

I've been working my butt off these last few weeks going to the gym 8-10 times per week playing catch-up from the couple months post-knee surgery I couldn't do much.

I'm finally getting back into running and doing the activities I've missed so much. {HOORAY!!!} However, if my Physical Therapist, Jill, is reading this, I'm only "lightly jogging." Promise. ;)

So, because I'd been working so hard, I decided to be bold and try on this preppy navy colored sweater and these salmon colored skinny jeans to see if they fit...

And...they did! I am lovin' the way I look today. Any minute now Gap should be calling to see if I would like to model for them. :)

When I got to work this morning I had an e-mail notifying me that my picture I submitted for our employee photography contest was selected as the winner.

They needed a head-to-toe picture of me by the end of the day.

Lucky me, I looked as good as I felt for a photo shoot that was about to happen on a whim!

My winning picture along with a picture of myself will appear in our 2012 Annual Report! Awesome!!!

Today something great happened. And I'm not talking about winning the photography contest (even tho that's pretty sweet, huh?!)

Today I was able to look at pictures of myself and instead of picking them apart and not liking what I saw, I was able to feel confident and embrace how I looked from head-to-toe in this preppy navy colored sweater and these salmon colored skinny jeans.

I looked awesome in an outfit I wasn't even sure I would be able to fit into a few hours ago. 

Moments like these are why I don't give up at the gym and I'm reminded just how rewarding being intentional about the food I put in my mouth is.

Even though this journey hasn't been easy, I've gotten frustrated and been in a lot of pain along the way, days like today happen and I'm reassured that this lifestyle change I've made is completely 100% worth every single minute.

Because along this journey, I'm able to find joy in the little things.

Each one amazing.

Each one significant.

Each one so worth it.

If you are struggling with your weight/health goals right now, I urge you to commit yourself 100% to a healthy lifestyle for a minimum of two weeks. Write down every single thing you put in your mouth and everything you do at the gym. Push yourself to make it to the gym 2, 3, 4 times a week if that's all you can do. I promise you that you will start to notice the little things, too. And I promise you that it is worth it. You are worth it!

We're all in this together!

Being Intentional With My Time

The other day I was talking with a friend about how I feel like I never have any time and I don't get to spend the time I do have doing the things I want to do, the things that really count and make me happy.

And just as those words came out of my mouth I realized what a ridiculous statement I had made.

I have 24 hours every day just like everyone else.

I am a single 25 year old woman with no one to take care of or be responsible for (outside of work) than myself.

I get to choose how to spend my time.

So why did I feel this way?

Because I wasn't being intentional with my time.

It's so easy to get caught up in the meetings, the appointments, the this and the that.

To come home exhausted from work, put on sweatpants, plop on the couch and be a bum. 

The daily grind takes its toll. 

But I don't want that for myself.

I want to spend my time making a difference. Doing things that count. Things that make me happy.

And those things don't just happen.

One has to be intentional about making them happen.

So, I'm going to make a few changes.

I'm going to spend less time on Facebook and more time on the phone to let the people I love know I'm thinking about them and see how they are instead of reading it on a computer.

I'm going to spend less time on the couch watching TV and more time at the gym, because something about working up a sweat makes me feel alive and like I can take on the world.

I'm going to spend more time reading and writing because it makes me happy.

And finally, I will continue to volunteer but I'll also spend time exploring if my talents can be used in other places as well.

 

I want to make my time count and for it to be purposeful.

I'm going to start by being intentional.

Small Town Saturday Night

So, my friend Ryan just bought a house. 

It's in the middle of no where. 

Have you ever been to Crescent, Iowa? 

If you haven't, don't blink....because you'll miss it. 

Then if you go through the woods and over 14 hills and around 37 curves and you'll be at his house! 

Anyways, he had a house warming party last weekend. 

He has a beautiful new home. 

When we got to Ryan's house he was giving us a tour. 

And in his basement sat this lamp. 

It was an awesome lamp. 

Naturally Josie, Maddi and myself all wanted it because Ryan was going to throw it away. 

Fighting and bickering ensued.

There may or may not have been some hair pulled.

Just kidding.

But really.

To end the fighting and bickering madness we decided to play nice and break in Ryan's new home fair and square with "Minute to Win it Olymipcs."

Let's just say someone dominated.

  

And was the proud winner of said awesome lamp. 

Maddi couldn't be more proud of me. Obviously. 

Her 2nd place prize of the genie lamp, was just as awesome. 

*wink* :)

Sweet, sweet victory never tasted so good! 

***Stay tuned for an update of the lamp in its new home***

Choices

So there I was, post workout, standing on the scale like I always do on Friday mornings. Crossing my fingers. And toes. Praying for some motivation to keep going. Hoping for some re-assurance that I am still doing things right.

Waiting…

Re-hashing all the foods I put into my body that week. All the moments I exhibited such self-control. The moments I wish I would have made better choices.

Waiting…

Going through every single workout I did. Feeling every sore muscle in my body. Questioning if I could have pushed harder or done more.

And then, the number appears.

Some quick math, and I’m up 2.4 pounds from the week before.

My head falls.

At that moment, on that scale, I want to give up. Because what is the point? Why do I spend hours in the kitchen preparing healthy meals that seem to take more time and energy than I care to spend? Why do I spend so many hours at the gym when I could be using my time otherwise?

-----

My phone rings. It’s the customer I’ve been waiting to hear from. I’ve been working on a couple potential loans for him and I’ve got good news…I’ve got him approved! And, I’m getting really excited about the potential BIG business he will give me. And by big I mean that lofty sales goal will not be so far out of the realm of possibilities this year if I get his business.

I pick up the phone and tell him he has been approved, expecting to hear that he’s ready to sign documents. Instead, he tells me he’s changed his mind. He’s not going to bring his business to me.

I ask him why the change of heart, to make sure there are no misunderstandings I can clear up for him. I try my best to convince him that I am the best person to finance his farm operation. That I can be his trusted financial partner.

No dice.

I hang up the phone and have a rush of emotions. I ask myself why I ever chose this profession. I start to consider that maybe being a lender isn’t for me. I ponder moving on and trying something new that wouldn’t force to me deal with rejection so often. A profession I wouldn’t have to take so personally.

----

Disappointments aren't fun. They are hard. They hurt. You feel like a failure and want to give up.

But the great thing about disappointments? You have a choice. You get to choose weather this bump in the road will completely de-rail your goals or give you more fuel to fight harder.

So, I will never stop fighting this weight loss fight!

I have been fighting to get this weight off my body for the majority of my life. I am coming off of a minor knee surgery and preparing to have another major one in a few months. One that I need to be in the best shape of my life for. One that is going to hurt, a lot. One that requires urgency to get this weight off me. An urgency that wasn’t quite as prevalent before.

But urgent or not, I’m choosing to keep on pushing forward, no matter the up’s or down’s. Because no matter how hard this journey is, it makes me happy. And being healthy is worth every minute of fighting off these extra pounds.

And, I am never going to stop giving 110% to my job!

This potential customer not giving me his business stung a little bit. Ok, I’m not going to lie, a lot. I felt like I had built a pretty good relationship with him over the last couple years, and it’s going to take me a little while to get over it. Rejection is never easy. Not taking these things personally is not my strong point. I can’t help it; I am passionate. Passionate about the people I get to serve daily. Passionate about the industry I’ve chosen to work in.

But giving up or trying to find a new job that wouldn’t subject me to feel this way? That is certainly not the answer.

Instead, I’m choosing to get my butt back out there and find the next farmer I can build a strong lending relationship with. Because I’m passionate about it, and I don’t want this competitive flame inside me to die.

I'm choosing to fight harder and to never let disappointments get the best of me.

What do you choose?

New Year, New Resolutions?

It’s that time of year again. Where we take time to reflect on the last year: the wonderful moments, great achievements, happiness, tough times and even sadness that happened over the last 365 days. We look forward to: fresh starts, new beginnings, new hopes, dreams and promises to ourselves and others we fully intend to carry out in the next year. We make these “New Year’s Resolutions” with the purest of intentions, don’t we? We want to become the best person we can be. And we believe that if only we could conquer, master, and achieve these resolutions we could be the best, maybe even a perfect, version of ourselves. 

I know this is true for me. 

If you asked me to count the number of times I’ve made “New Year’s Resolutions” I could not count them on both of my hands. I would have to borrow yours, and even then we may run out of fingers. 

But this year? You won’t find me making “New Year’s Resolutions” this year.

 

Why? Because 2012 was AWESOME. Yeah, I had some struggles in 2012. No, I didn’t become the most perfect version of myself. Does that really exist anyway?!

But, can I look back at the last 365 days and know with confidence that I am way better version of myself than I was at this time last year? 

Yes!!! 

And isn’t that what it’s all about? 

In the last year I have:

lost 40 pounds and became a healthier, happier version of myself

cut out a person from my life that wasn’t an “adder” but a “subtractor” 

made a house a home

learned how to love better 

grew closer to Jesus 

made old friendships stronger, better friendships

became a better daughter, sister, aunt, granddaughter, niece, cousin and friend

made new friends

kept a journal and read more 

became better at my job 

found new meanings to the words “happiness” and “counting my blessings” 

learned how to say “no” more frequently

grew my cow/calf and feedlot operations

took a vacation

opened myself up to new opportunities

stood up with my best friend as she said “I do”

found new hobbies

and had A LOT of fun.

So… “New Year’s Resolutions.” 

Yes it’s a new year. But am I really ever done becoming a better version of myself? Am I ever done learning how to love better, being a better friend, or opening myself up to new opportunities? Why don’t I just continue doing all the great things I started in 2012? Why don’t I try carrying all of this awesomeness over to 2013? 

Because we are never done with these things we start. At least I don’t want to be. And that’s what 2013 is going to be about for me. Continuing all the great things I’ve already started, and maybe adding in some new things along the way. 

Happy New Year, y’all! 

Cheers!