Choices

So there I was, post workout, standing on the scale like I always do on Friday mornings. Crossing my fingers. And toes. Praying for some motivation to keep going. Hoping for some re-assurance that I am still doing things right.

Waiting…

Re-hashing all the foods I put into my body that week. All the moments I exhibited such self-control. The moments I wish I would have made better choices.

Waiting…

Going through every single workout I did. Feeling every sore muscle in my body. Questioning if I could have pushed harder or done more.

And then, the number appears.

Some quick math, and I’m up 2.4 pounds from the week before.

My head falls.

At that moment, on that scale, I want to give up. Because what is the point? Why do I spend hours in the kitchen preparing healthy meals that seem to take more time and energy than I care to spend? Why do I spend so many hours at the gym when I could be using my time otherwise?

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My phone rings. It’s the customer I’ve been waiting to hear from. I’ve been working on a couple potential loans for him and I’ve got good news…I’ve got him approved! And, I’m getting really excited about the potential BIG business he will give me. And by big I mean that lofty sales goal will not be so far out of the realm of possibilities this year if I get his business.

I pick up the phone and tell him he has been approved, expecting to hear that he’s ready to sign documents. Instead, he tells me he’s changed his mind. He’s not going to bring his business to me.

I ask him why the change of heart, to make sure there are no misunderstandings I can clear up for him. I try my best to convince him that I am the best person to finance his farm operation. That I can be his trusted financial partner.

No dice.

I hang up the phone and have a rush of emotions. I ask myself why I ever chose this profession. I start to consider that maybe being a lender isn’t for me. I ponder moving on and trying something new that wouldn’t force to me deal with rejection so often. A profession I wouldn’t have to take so personally.

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Disappointments aren't fun. They are hard. They hurt. You feel like a failure and want to give up.

But the great thing about disappointments? You have a choice. You get to choose weather this bump in the road will completely de-rail your goals or give you more fuel to fight harder.

So, I will never stop fighting this weight loss fight!

I have been fighting to get this weight off my body for the majority of my life. I am coming off of a minor knee surgery and preparing to have another major one in a few months. One that I need to be in the best shape of my life for. One that is going to hurt, a lot. One that requires urgency to get this weight off me. An urgency that wasn’t quite as prevalent before.

But urgent or not, I’m choosing to keep on pushing forward, no matter the up’s or down’s. Because no matter how hard this journey is, it makes me happy. And being healthy is worth every minute of fighting off these extra pounds.

And, I am never going to stop giving 110% to my job!

This potential customer not giving me his business stung a little bit. Ok, I’m not going to lie, a lot. I felt like I had built a pretty good relationship with him over the last couple years, and it’s going to take me a little while to get over it. Rejection is never easy. Not taking these things personally is not my strong point. I can’t help it; I am passionate. Passionate about the people I get to serve daily. Passionate about the industry I’ve chosen to work in.

But giving up or trying to find a new job that wouldn’t subject me to feel this way? That is certainly not the answer.

Instead, I’m choosing to get my butt back out there and find the next farmer I can build a strong lending relationship with. Because I’m passionate about it, and I don’t want this competitive flame inside me to die.

I'm choosing to fight harder and to never let disappointments get the best of me.

What do you choose?